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Now, there often comes a time when I also push these said limits. For various reasons. It's too confining for the day, I've been pressured otherwise and caved, or times it's just not convenient. (Which always gives Gary a chuckle)

So when it becomes clear that the limit needs to reestablished, then Gary will talk to me about it. He will always give the opportunity to change things myself. A good chance mind you. I mean he loves me, he wants me happy. He wants me to come to my own conclusions on why this is in place. Yet if I do not, can not or will not bring myself in line, then he will.

And as I am often told, if I can't find a way to do this myself, then he will do it for me. And there will be times when I will not like the way he does it.

Is he forcing me to do something against my will. NO. Nor is Stephen or any other loving husband.

This is not about touching feet when you don't like it. This is about respecting the relationship and the dynamics it's based on. In other words, things will fall into place, one way or another. But there is always a choice.

Any other misinterpretation of this is a self made arguement.....Blush

by Blush on 2004 Dec 22 - 21:09 | reply to this comment
Wonderful wives and the men who love them
Louise, you wrote:

You said to Sarah that she would have no say in what a man did to her. I insitinctively find that very objectionable. I do not like the idea that, just because a woman is Taken In Hand, that means she has no say in what happens to her.

Louise, Stephen knew that what he said would appeal to me. And if you have read his articles, you can see that he cares very much about consent. Do keep that context in mind. If Stephen were saying that to someone who does not want this, then yes, I'd agree with you, but he wasn't, and he wouldn't.

And incidentally, I wasn't being sarcastic when I refered to your perfect wife. My lack of interest in housekeeping has been a source of genuine distress in our relationship, causing terrible rows and indeed divorce (we were divorced after a couple of years of marriage, though we got back together again). Reading your article did make me feel quite genuinely depressed, wondering if my husband would really have been happier all along with someone like her. This is something that still makes me wonder. I know my husband loves me madly, but is love enough? Would he be happier really with someone whom he loved less madly but who didn't irritate him so much? It wasn't sarcasm, Stephen, it was sadness.